2. ONE WEEK ON

And a week is a long time in the business called show let me tell ya!!

It all started quite well to be honest. I had just been offered a new job without having to audition (Which as any actor will tell you is the best thing ever because auditions are the worst part of the job. But of course they are the only way to get a job....normally). My agent had phoned to say she had received a call from the artistic director of the Open Air Theatre in Regent's Park (Where I have worked a couple of times previously) who was very interested in casting me as Toad in their forthcoming production of the Wind in the Willows.

How Bad!?

Toad is a great role, pretty much the lead in the play and this would begin 4 weeks after the end of my current show, Calico, and would bring me right through to the end of august. My only concern was this was the daytime show but that's not such a bad thing either, to have my nights free for a while. And all this had fallen into my lap without even having to audition. A slight bit of me is saying this is too good to be true another part of me is saying enjoy the small bit of recognition for a change. All I need to do is meet the director on thursday (Who I know quite well) to have a chat about it and make up my mind as they're not seeing any one else for the role.

A good start to the week.

It got better. Wednesday was St. Patrick's Day. the day to stop and reflect on the fact that you are irish, and to be as irish as humanly possible and get as blind drunk as humanly possible. I of course had two shows. Actors hate auditions, that's a fact. They hate matinees even more. The show during the day that is inevitably attended by an older age group than normal, so not much reaction from them meaning you're busting your ass on the stage to try and wake them up. By the time the curtain comes down you're knackered but grateful for it to be over until you realise you have to do it all again in a couple of hours time. Ah Jesus! Its hard and it's harder when the bars are packed with hard drinking hooligans celebrating the loss of snakes from good old ireland and you would give your left nut to be there. But its alright. I've people I know in watching the show that night so I'm happy to do the other show. the People in question are 1) the erstwhile artistic director of Red Kettle Theatre Co. and the macbeth of Morley Terrace, Ben Hennessy, 2) One of Waterford's best known actors and the man that killed Glenroe, Brian 'Dots' Doherty and 3) One of Waterford's best known redheads Mr. Keith Dunphy. Good men all and no finer gentlemen would I wish to have a beer with on paddy's day.

Show goes well and we all have some champagne in my dressing room (I am in the west end you know and that's how one does things :-) we head over to the Harp, a bar near the theatre. Few beers. Off to that stalwart club on Adam's street. More beers and a chat with the Darkness and Brian May. Come the wee hours I'm twisted and on a bus home. miss my stop. It takes 2 hours to get home. Rough.

Typical Paddy's day then.

Woke up on Thursday with an enormous hangover, I mean HUGE. And oh crap I have a meeting with the director of WIND IN THE WILLOWS. Nuts. Head over to Regent's Park. Meeting is good (if extremely painful, they made me sing one of Toad's songs, just my bloody luck) could be a good job but we'll see says me. Meet up with Ben for a bite to eat and a chat about writing some music for his new play in the summer. Then do the show. Things are good. I'm in work until the end of may in a new west end play and now I have two offers for work after it finishes. How bad?

Nah.

Show goes well, audience a bit small but happy and we're all going for a company meal afterwards in Joe Allens (where all the actors go after their west end performances dontchaknow). So we're leaving the stage after the bows happy with the work and we're asked to stay on stage by the company manager. Oh. Our producer comes on stage with the writer. Oh Crap. And she says the worst phrase known to man (or theatre people at least)

TWO WEEKS NOTICE

Aw shite. As i've said CALICO was to run until the end of may but with those three horrible words we close on the 3rd of April and I'm extremely unemployed. Poor audiences and a few unfair reviews were to blame they said, nothing to do with us. Well that makes it all better doesn't it? So its all over bar the shouting and the company meal is a great success after that. Yeah right.

So what do you do?

Well I've already applied to be an usher in me local cinema.

I should've been a plumber.

Toad's looking pretty good now...........