Moby Dick was over but the Jitter wasn't too bad as I had signed on to do Much Ado in Bath. But that was three months away.
The hunt had begun to find something to fit nicely in between so.
Moby Dick had gone well but hadn't set the world on fire. Which is a pity 'cos I really enjoyed doing it and musically it was the business (well I thought so any way). And of course its a pity because you always hope when you do a workshop like that that it will be a huge success, be snapped up straight away and enjoy a long and very financially rewarding time in the West End - with me still involved of course. But alas no. The two public performances were really good but the right people didn't see it, the people with the money, the people with the power. Who did see it one night was an unwashed stage door Johnny who, before the performance, stopped us all at the stage door to get our autographs and then proceeded to sit in the front row where we could all see him ... and sleep. How he didn't get harpooned I'll never know. 18 stone and well smelly, he should have played Moby Dick. But I digress. Who I was most disappointed for though was the composer, who was a terrific guy and I think getting Moby Dick on has been a bit of a life's ambition. Despite the fact that he unwittingly helped me get the job with Peter Hall, he also gave me a bit of a boost just when I needed it. About a week after I didn't get Seagull's Dance the agent rang to tell me that she had been speaking to the casting director's assistant who was sorry it hadn't worked out but went on to say;
'Well we always knew we were getting an actor with Jamie rather than a singer.'
Aw hang on! I know I had a dodgy throat that day but jesus it wasn't that bad. Now that annoyed me more than somewhat. Feck sake I came over to the London to study musical theatre! I'm a trained singer! Well the confidence took a bit of a knock with that one, which is stupid because I'm old and ugly enough now to know better than to leave what people say get to me. But it did piss me off. Then the following week I had to go into rehearsals early to go through my solo stuff in Moby Dick. Believe me when I tell ya this was good music to sing and hard and very high, so I made sure the voice was well awake going in that morning. I started belting through me numbers and the pipes are in good order, or at least I think so, after that comment I got I'm not sure if I trust me own opinion any more. Not to worry though because I wasn't the only one thinking it;
'Boy that's a great sound you're making. You've had training haven't you? Say could we give him more to sing?' quoth the composer.
'Sure I'm grand with what I have. It's terrific stuff.' Humbly quoth I.
And a big smile spread across me face. Nice one. 'Waterford's answer to Boyzone' was back (I'll explain that comment another time!). Those kind words pulled me right out of me downer and I was on a high for the rest of the day. So if I wanted it to succeed for anyone it was definitely him. Well maybe it will happen, Mr. Peaslee is no man to give up and he even got us in a couple of weeks afterwards to record sections from it so that he could send it to people that weren't able to see the showcase. Top man. I hope I get to go whaling again soon.
That's well and good but I was now out of a job of course. Or at least inbetween jobs. Surely there was something that would fit between february and May?
There was.
Actors are like vultures, they circle around and will pounce on any piece of information about an audition at the first opportunity. I'm no different boy.
'Easy for you to say lovey, you've had an audition. Why can't I have an audition?' said the wise Withnail.
Anyway, I was on the phone to me girlfriend Karen and she was telling me that her friend had an audition for a musical called The Fantasticks at Harrogate theatre. Then the light bulb went on over me head. Harrogate? Sure didn't I audition for them last year on the day of three auditions, and while I didn't get the job I think they liked me. A quick scan on that mad thing called the internet and the performance dates are before me. It finishes two weeks before I start rehearsals for Much Ado. Now that would be very nice indeed. Two months work and then two weeks off (probably head back for a Déise top-up) and then kick into Much Ado. While I didn't know the show I had heard loads about it and I had liked the director when I met her before. As long as the part was nice this could be a good gig. I had to get an audition first of course. I hopped on the phone to the agent and she was perplexed that she hadn't heard about the auditions. Turns out there was a mistake when the casting breakdowns were sent out to agents. No problem though as they would defintely squeeze me in on the Friday. Sound. I'm reading for the part of 'The Boy'. I hop onto the phone again, this time to Dickie Hardwick (who's mother's from cheekpoint so good breeding) he was in The Fantasticks at drama school so he knew the score, literally. I ask him about 'The Boy'.
'Yeah, great part. Not sure you're exactly right for it but you'd sing the shit out of it!'
I like his style. So the usual audition morning ritual is observed that Friday and I'm feeling in good form. The audition is at The Drill Hall which was where we rehearsed Moby Dick funnily enough and even funnier because I get there to find its in the very same room, must be an omen. Probably not though. Well lets see shall we.
In I go and I'm off to a grand start. The panel sitting in front of me are all the same heads from me last audition for Harrogate and I know the piano player too as he's a chap that's worked a fair bit at Regent's Park. Nice one. They ask me if I mind reading first. No hassle as I've just been having a look over 'The Boy's' lines out in the hall. But they don't ask me to read that, they ask me to read a different part;
'Sorry to spring this on you but would you mind reading the part of 'The Actor' for us? I know you haven't looked at it so if you want to take some time to look over it please do.'
And I decide to do something very very risky.
'I'll tell you what, why don't I just bash through it now and then after you can tell me how you want me to do it.'
It came out of my mouth before I had time to think about it to be honest. Now I'm a good enough sight reader but this was completely off the wall as I hadn't seen a word of this dialogue before. This was real shit or bust stuff. If the reading was good it would be well impressive, but if I make a dogs dinner of it I could kiss the job goodbye. Fuck it sure, you only live once. I launch into it and it goes brilliantly. The dialogue is brilliantly written so that makes it easier and within 10 lines I'm sucking diesel and the panel are laughing and I corpse meself at one stage and its just sheer intense concentration for 3 minutes and at the end the director says with a smile on her face;
'Yeah that's pretty much it alright, there's no need to hear that again.'
The gamble had worked and I think they were impressed. They then get me to read some of 'The Boy' and that goes well, but to be honest I want the other part now! That's the role for me boy! You steal the entire show with parts like that, and although its normally played by someone much older they wouldn't have asked me to read it if they weren't interested. Then that lovely director endears herself even more to me by saying;
'I don't really need to hear you sing but would you mind doing a song anyway? I just like to hear you sing.'
Aw yes boy. I had put the days of doubt well behind me at this stage. And I give them that perennial favourite 'If Ever I Would Leave You' from Camelot, and the voce doesn't make a liar of her. Some sweet crooning.....thank god! And I literally skip out of the audition on some high. Now as you know I'd tell ye if an audition went shit, but this went really well. I felt like all I had to do was chill out and wait for the phone to ring the next week.
It didn't.
No news from them the whole week and Karen's friend had gotten a 'no' so I knew they were ringing people either way. Shite, what's the craic? It happens though. It wouldn't be the first time that I've done a great audition and not gotten the job. I bet it'll be - you were too young for 'The Actor' and too old for 'The Boy' - kind of thing. Ah well. Not to worry too much though as the good auld agent was on the case and had gotten me an audition for Foyle's War for the end of the week. A telly! Grand, so is it maybe some Irish rogue who runs afoul of Detective Foyle? Nope. The script comes through the door and it turns out that the part I'm for is an upper class English scientist. Riiight. That's a tricky one. Not the accent of course, me RP's grand but this is telly and they tend to go for the genuine article if they can get it. Unless you're a name of course. But I ain't one a them yet. Its cool though because preparing for it takes me mind off The Fantasticks. The audition itself goes grand. The casting director is a lovely lady that I've met on a couple of occasions and the director and the producer are very pleasant. I read fine but there's an auld niggle in the back of me head saying 'I'm not sure I'm right for this' and I was thinking that they thought so too. Well when doubts like that creep in you'll never get the job. And indeed I didn't. I was getting off the tube on me way to work at the call centre (I was back there because unfortunately auditions don't pay the bills.) and the agent rings with sad tidings.
'Its not going to work out with Foyle's War.'
Well I kind of expected that. Ah well, another one bites the dust, as the song so rightly says. I wasn't too down though, because I had just gotten a lovely €20 return flight to Cork so I was heading back home for a week and sure that's enough to cheer anyone up. Did I need cheering up? Well two nice gigs that would have fitted in perfectly before Much Ado were gone. Foyle's War was definitely not going to happen and I had given up hope for The Fantasticks. Silly me! I'm sitting at me shitty job when the phone goes again, and strangely its the agent again;
'They've just called from Harrogate and they want to offer you The Fantasticks.'
Go on ya good thing!
'But'
Shite.
'they haven't offered you either of the parts you read for. They want to offer you 'Mortimer' instead.'
Oh. Who's he?
'I don't know what the part is like but they said that you were too young for 'The Actor' and they went with someone else for 'The Boy' but the director still wants you in the show.'
Well that's pretty nice of her. I tell the agent not to give them an answer until I do some research. Said research is another phonecall to Mr. Hardwick. I ask him what the part is like;
'Small.'
And he goes on to describe the part and me excitement over getting the job falls away. I don't think it's a part I want to do. When accepting a job, and especially one outside of London you have to weigh up a few things. With this gig I wouldn't have had time to sub let me room so I'd still be paying rent in London, Harrogate's a fair spin to London so I'd be spending a small fortune traveling up and down at weekends and it started rehearsals the following week so I'd have to cut me trip to Waterford short. On regional rep wages I would probably end up spending more than I'd be earning and all for a part that doesn't excite me. If it had been one of the parts I had read for then I would have done it no problem, jumped at them, but at this stage there has to be a reason for doing a job and not just take everything that comes along.
And so I say no.
Now that's a weird sensation. The only time I've turned down jobs before is because I've had another offer, I've never turned one down and had nothing else on. I want to work obviously and I would certainly like to work with this director but I just didn't feel the part was worth going to Harrogate for. And that was that. The agent was slightly pleased because she wanted me to be available in case any more telly auditions came up (they didn't) and I went home for the usual week long sessúin with the nagging question at the back of me mind;
In two months time, when I'm still sitting in the call centre taking complaints about NTL, will I regret me decision to say no?
Probably.
